When Patricia told me the topic of her article this week (click here to read), I couldn’t believe the synchronicity! I had just received an email from our reunion coordinator of my graduating class from the Leonia, NJ High School. What is relevant about that is that she included a link to www.PalisadesPark.com which was the amusement park, at least in the eastern U.S, for many years, shutting its doors in 1979. It was located on the “palisades”, the cliffs of NJ overlooking the Hudson River to New York City.

I immediately went to the link, and memories of wonderful times spent with family and friends when I was growing up, came flooding in. So what does this all have to do with “letting go”, Patricia’s topic for this week?

Perhaps you can join me in recalling those ‘rides’ that seemed like an enormous challenge when you were a kid. I had two of those in Palisades Amusement Park that scared the devil out of me, and yet I was somehow attracted to them. The first was a very tall (it seemed like it then) circular swing whose chairs almost went horizontal when it reached its top speed. This ride was located right at the edge of the cliff, so that when it was at its full arc, it felt as if I were out over the cliff!!

The second ride was the roller coaster, of course constructed of wood and painted white with its peaks and valleys and undulations; the largest in the world at the time.

I approached each ride in a state of fear; thinking it would be easier to stay on the safe terra firma. We all have been there… we want to rise to the challenge, yet the taught throat and the weak knees seem to get the best of us. Then somehow, we get the courage to get on the ride.

With white knuckles, clenched teeth, cramped muscles from holding on tight, the ride slowly starts. Then, at some point, something within me “lets go”. The motion of the swing circling around, even if it felt like it was out over the cliff, is calming to my fear.

The “click, click” of the gears as the cars of the roller coaster make their ascent to the first and highest hill accentuate my state of being frozen with fear. As we approach the apex and slip over the top, I “let go”, screaming with delight as we speed toward the next dip.

We all have had many experiences of letting go. The terra firma always feels safer, but if we remain there, we don’t experience the joy that comes with “letting go”…

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

I had the wonderful opportunity of hearing Byron Kate speak in person this past week. I must admit I am a huge fan of hers – I have all her books and one set of her CDs. I am constantly impressed by the simplicity and elegance of her message, also known as The Work (Click here for more information).

Like many spiritual teachers of today, her work is about being aware and living in the moment. The difference is that Byron Katie not only tells us to DO these things, she gives very clear instructions on HOW to do it. Notice I didn’t say “easy”. Her method is definitely not easy, it is however, very simple and straightforward. And “Katie” doesn’t mince words when talking to people directly.

The instructions are simple: Question your thoughts. Ask the following four questions about them:
1. Is this true?

2. Can you know for sure that this is true?

3. Who are you, how do you feel when you think this thought?

4. Who would you be without this thought?

I challenge you to give this process a try the next time you find yourself in a situation in which you are reacting emotionally to something someone has said or done. The minute your goes to “He should …” or “She shouldn’t…”, apply the questions, and then let me know what you think!

Patricia

In any spiritual path one follows, inevitably, the idea of letting go rears its head. Why is it so important? Why is it so difficult? As women spiritual leaders we can face this conundrum in a myriad of ways. Not only on our own path, but also when dealing with others – for example when we are ministering to our people, we must approach them free of expectations and requirements; in many forms of meditation, we are asked to let our thoughts go as they appear; in counseling sessions, we must let go of preconceived projections and outcomes.

What are some of the things we need to let go of? Well, the list is infinite, but here’s some food for thought: shame, guilt, fear, anger, bad relationships, expectations, grief, resistance, dependency…

And through all of this letting go, the mind is clinging with fierce determination to what it knows. “The devil you know is better (safer) than the devil you don’t!” we exclaim. The dangerous unknown lurks in front of us like an abysmal hole. The purpose of the mind or Ego is to keep us safe – that part of ourselves will do whatever it takes to accomplish its mission of keeping us safe from harm – and what could be more unsafe than the unknown or change? However, a full cup cannot be filled with something new – it must be emptied first. Let go!

If we can allow ourselves to open up with grace (or without, as the case may be) and trust to the unknown and something different, what we find is a whole new world of options and possibilities. The Divine has more in store for us than we can imagine for ourselves, but our job is to have faith and let go!

The question is how? How can we let go when our “monkey mind” is clinging tight to its vine? There are 5 simple steps to easing into faith and “letting go and letting God”:

1. Label that part of yourself that is afraid. Give it a name and make it as real in your mind as possible. This gives you something to focus on.

2. Let it express its fear through journaling or meditation.

3. Speak to it gently as you would a frightened child. Don’t dismiss it – it will only cry louder!

4. Get silent and still so that you can hear the still, small voice within – this is what will tell you your next step, if any.

5. Breathe! It is so important during these times of change to remember to breathe.

By giving voice to your fears, you allow that voice to know it’s being listened to. Only then can it begin to be comforted. Then the monkey can finally let go of that vine – that’s the only way you’ll be able to catch the next vine – much like a trapeze artist, in order to catch one trapeze the artist must let go of the one they are holding and trust that the one they need will be where it needs to be when they let go.

Remember that when a window is closed, a door is opened. Go ahead, close that window! Let go and live life!

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

I couldn’t resist posting this link about Ricochet – a dog who was allowed to “follow her bliss” and is now helping to earn money for the disabled.

What an inspiring reminder to us all to go within and determine what it is we are truly called to do!

Patricia

When contemplating the topic for my article this week, I had difficulty tapping into the source of my creativity.  Then I heard the words of one of my business mentors, echoing in my ears… “I want you to rest and take a bubble bath as your assignment this week.”  “Yea, right”, I responded in my thoughts… “Not with what I have to do!”

How often, as women and spiritual leaders do we run out of gas?  A common reaction when we feel overwhelmed with responsibilities is to “gear up”; to do whatever it takes to complete what we have to accomplish.

As we have experienced, what usually happens is the “springs pop out”, the project is done to less than our standards, and we often wind up pulling our hair out!!  We all know there is a better way.  Perhaps simple, yet not easy to follow, if we are entrenched in the automatic, often unconscious patterns that we employ to deal with demands.

Every spiritual tradition of which I am aware is replete with stories around rest and retreat.  The Jews honor the Sabbath, the peoples of the indigenous religions engage in vision quests and other rituals which facilitate their “coming apart” from their day-to-day responsibilities.  Muslims and the sages of the ‘Eastern’ spiritual traditions, too, had their times of retreat.

“Come unto me all you who are weary and of heavy burden, and I will give you rest”…

What an irresistible invitation!!!  Come, weary ones, heavy with the responsibilities of serving a congregation, of ministering to the people who come to you for guidance and healing, of juggling the demands of running a home and nurturing a family, and I will give you rest…

How can we respond to the invitation to rest?

1.    Practicing awareness of our energy levels.  What are your individual warning signals that you may be getting low on ‘fuel’?

2.    Practicing saying ‘no’ more than you say ‘yes’.  So often our ‘yes’ responses to a request are automatic.  Once we regularly employ examining what we have been asked to do in light of what we’ve already committed to, it will become clear that a ‘no’ isn’t a bad word.

3.    Observing our thoughts.  Are they accelerating?  Are they into the future with ‘all that you have to do’?  If so, it’s a good sign that you are already approaching ‘circuit overload’.

4.    Take 10 minutes to sit with a notebook and identify a number of places (a quiet place in your home or yard), people (a trusted friend, your toddler), things (music, art, a pet, inspirational writings) that give you a sense of rest; of being ‘apart’, and commit to engaging with those when you feel yourself getting to that state of ‘overwhelment’.

5.    Identify a support system, flesh it out, and commit to calling on it when you experience your stress levels rising.

6.    Practice being in the present moment… moment to moment.

7.    How about your bed for a good night’s sleep?

This article was written by Ruth Reiner, Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Counselor, Coach and Co-founder of www.IAWSL.com

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE?  You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions.  We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
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This week, next Sunday to be exact (the third Sunday of January), is World Religions Day. This is a day in which the world’s amazing collage of different religions is honored. It was started by Baha’i’s in the United States but has slowly been spreading throughout the world.

On this day throughout the world interfaith conferences, dinners and dialogs are hosted in order to promote communication and understanding amongst the world’s religions. According to the Baha’i website, the purpose is “to call attention to the harmony of the various religions’ spiritual principles and to emphasize that religion is the motivating force for world unity.”

As I pondered the significance of this day, I was struck by the intention behind this proclamation. As stated in the Baha’i writings, “Religion should be the cause of love and agreement, a bond to unify all mankind for it is a message of peace and goodwill to man from God” and “Religion is the greatest of all means for the establishment of order in the world and for the peaceful contentment of all that dwell therein.”

We know that this idea certainly has not always played out this way.

As women spiritual leaders we are faced everyday with differences. These differences in the people we come across can range from differences in age, race, gender, socio-economic background, cultural background and, of course, religious background. How can we be messages “of peace and goodwill to the world” and help to “be the cause of love and agreement” when faced with these differences?

There are four important keys to this process:
1.    Introspection
First of all, we must take a good hard look at ourselves. It is important as spiritual leaders that we understand our Achilles’ heel – our personal wounds and sensitive spots. If we are not clear on these and actively working on healing them, it is probable that they will come out as judgment and projection onto others.

We also must remember to take nothing personally and we are wonderful beings. In the words of Ernest Holmes, “Nothing can touch us unless we let it touch us. Refuse to have the feelings hurt. Refuse to receive anyone’s condemnation. In the independence of your own mentality, believe and feel that you are wonderful. This is not conceit, it is the truth.”

We are in control of ourselves and our own pain. We must be able to not take things personally especially when dealing with “differences”.

2.    Open Heart/Open Mind
Stephen Covey exemplifies this in the principle: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood. (Seven Basic Habits of Highly Effective People (copyright: Stephen Covey Associates))

We should go into encounters with others with the intention of understanding them. This means making sure that we are truly listening to them – not thinking about how we are going to counter what they are saying. Our focus should be on them and what they are thinking, feeling and saying; and we should be doing this with open heart and an open mind. Listen and look for hidden wants and needs of the person and also look for their strengths and hopes. This can be done when encountering one person or even when attempting to understand an entire group of people.

3.    Find the common ground
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field.  I’ll meet you there.” – From Essential Rumi
by Coleman Barks

So, it now follows that from knowing yourself and listening to others with an open heart and mind, you can begin to find some commonalities. These commonalities are the field Rumi is referring to where we can meet people who are different from us and set aside those differences so that we can connect with them more fully.

Leonard Pitts, Jr., a columnist for the Miami Herald stated in a speech made February 11, 2002, at the Friends Select School in Philadelphia,
“Unity is not two people clinging together because they both fear they’re about to be annihilated. Nor, for that matter, is unity two people standing together and pretending there are no differences between them. … Unity is respecting difference, honoring difference, valuing difference, learning from difference, but understanding that difference is not destiny. … And that, if there are 10 things that divide us, there are 100 by which we are drawn together. If there are 100 points of contention, there are 1,000 of common cause.”

4.    Value the differences
So by this point we have examined ourselves and listened to others with an open heart and mind. Through this exercise we have found both commonalities and differences. We have met the others in our field of commonality, but this does not imply that we should ignore or toss away the differences.

What should we do with them? We should value them for it is through them that we can learn and grow both mentally and spiritually. We each do not have the corner on all knowledge and truth and it is in meeting others who are different that we can be charged with new knowledge and fresh energy.

“Difference must be not merely be tolerated, but seen as a fund of necessary polarities between which our creativity can spark like a dialectic.” – Audre Lorde

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, energy healer and entrepreneur. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com, and is a practicing life coach, spiritual guide and healer helping people to live the life of their dreams: www.theblissfulsoul.com

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

For many of us Women Spiritual Leaders, we are familiar with the word “epiphany” in its colloquial meaning…  “a sudden understanding, or insight, especially into the meaning of something”.  As we honor the celebration of the “Epiphany” of the Christian tradition which this year occurs on January 6th, we would invite you to discover, or reaffirm, ways in which we might invite epiphanies in order to help with our ministries, our practices, and our day to day living.

I suggest that they are not unusual, and for spiritual women, may be quite common.

January 6th marks the celebration of “Epiphany” which to Christians of the Eastern and Western churches commemorates the arrival of the Magi and, for some, the baptism of Jesus.  Both acknowledge the ‘Epiphany’ as the “manifestation of Christ to the world”.

‘Epiphany’ is also intertwined with the twelve days of Christmas, the twelfth also known as “three kings day” in honor of the Magi who, biblical and historical scholars think, may have traveled many months and over many miles to visit Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, who by then, had left the manger and had created their home.  Once there, they honored the baby Jesus with gold, frankincense, and myrrh each having its own mystical meaning.

How many times have you experienced an ‘epiphany’ after struggling with a problem or a challenge that had you tied in knots?

Do you remember when the ‘epiphany’ occurred?

What was it that the ‘epiphany’ provided?

If you implemented the solution that the ‘epiphany’ presented, what were the results?

I ask these questions because I believe all of us as women spiritual leaders have had ‘epiphanies’ that could help us answer these questions.

How, then, can we invite those experiences of insights, revelations, and sudden realizations into our everyday lives?

1.    Spend time in reading, study, prayer, meditation, and contemplation which provide the discipline to counteract the distractions which cause the ‘static’ we all experience which interrupts the clear signal which is often searching for our ‘receiver’

2.    Commit to the practice of being in the state of ‘awareness’…

3.    Be cognizant of our thoughts and resultant emotions by allowing and exercising the ‘observer’; that part of us who is constant, unchanging, and not rocked by our thoughts, feelings, and actions…

4.    Practice letting the past and the future go… the present which is all we have, will provide the answers we are searching for…

5.    When preparing for sleep, offer your problem, challenge, or issue… being willing to let go of it and trust that your answer will come…  It may not appear in a dream, though often it does, or upon awakening the next morning;  continue to trust that you will have the answers…

6.    Expect the ‘epiphany’ and when it is experienced by you, offer thanks, and provide the environment and the steps, with guidance,  to put it into action…

As we enter this new decade, may we, as women spiritual leaders and those of us who are awakening to our spiritual natures, experience the clarity and the potential for making a difference in our lives that an epiphany provides!

Reverend Ruth Reiner is an ordained Interfaith Minister, spiritual counselor and coach.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE?  You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions.  We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.