International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders » Ruth’s Posts

Women Spiritual Leaders and the Men We Love…

admin — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:39:45 +0000

“Ice Ice Baby”… That was the headline for a communiqué I received this week from one of the financial newsletters I subscribe to. You can imagine that it grabbed my attention! As I read the article my blood ran cold… no, turned to ice.

Please allow me the time because I think this is of interest to every woman and man. And that is not hype!

Marc Lichtenfeld, Healthcare Specialist, wrote about a phenomenon which is washing over our college campuses and across America called “Bros Icing Bros”. It is a game, obviously played only by young men. I can only shudder to imagine that it may be climbing up the age ladder.

The name of the game is “icing”. One guy (bro) gives a “Smirnoff Ice” to another bro, the recipient of which has to get down on one knee and “chug” the “Smirnoff Ice”. This exchange can happen anywhere at any time.

Should the ‘bro’ recipient refuse, as Marc explains, “they break a ‘man code’ and face ridicule, scorn and excommunication from the tribe for eternity.”

He goes on, “of course there are ways to protect yourself. You can present your attacker with your own bottle of “Smirnoff Ice”, making him chug both bottles. The internet is filled with stories and videos of bros getting iced in inconvenient places such as the shower, work, the gym, even a funeral”.

And here is the nubbin…
“But why Smirnoff Ice and not a Bud Light? The answer lies with ‘Smirnoff Ice’s’ target market – women. ‘Smirnoff Ice is a sweet alcoholic beverage, akin to a Cosmopolitan or an Amaretto Sour. You know, girlie drinks. So forcing a bro to chug a ‘Smirnoff Ice’ in public is considered side-splittingly emasculating”……. (vis a vis the bro getting down on one knee).

My response to this whole phenomenon initially was one of sadness. Haven’t we come farther in having men acknowledge, if not honor and integrate the feminine? Why is it that these young men have to act out their fear of being considered less than ‘macho’ with this ritual which on the face of it appears to demean women, but in the final analysis, who is it demeaning?

We, as a culture so accustomed to alcohol and the role it plays in our social fabric, may look at this phenomenon as boys and young men having “fun” and participating in another bizarre rite of passage. But I urge us to look deeper.

While I acknowledge the fact that there are many young men who refuse to participate, or quietly go their own way, the numbers of men who are taking part in and perpetuating this ritual have caused the sales of ‘Smirnoff’ to soar for its parent company, ‘Diageo’.

Why is it that our young men feel they have to demean women? Have we taught them to deny the feminine aspects of themselves? What kinds of messages have we been giving these men upon whom so much of our society will depend in the future?

I certainly don’t have the answers to these questions, but I ask you to think about them as they relate to the men you love, especially the young ones in your circle. It might even be beneficial to discuss this “icing” as it might be an opening to rich dialogue.

I plan to do just that with my sons-in-law Alex and Rod and my grandson, Devon.

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

Ruth Reiner is an ordained minister in the Interfaith tradition, spiritual counselor, professional nurse, certified life coach, and successful entrepreneur. She is president and co-founder of ‘The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders’. Ruth has two adult daughters with families/four grandchildren.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

Women Spiritual Leaders and the Health Care System

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:38:05 +0000

Before I was ordained as an interfaith minister and co-founded ‘The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders, I spent a good part of my career as a registered nurse. So what does this have to do with you as a woman and leader of your business or a ‘spiritual’ practice?

At some time in most of our lives, we will encounter the health care system either through our own illness or injury or that of a family member or friend. As you are aware from the articles we have written, we are very much into ‘self care’. In my opinion a major part of taking care of ourselves is having the knowledge about how to do that.

In a recent article, Patricia used the analogy of our intuition acting as a ‘GPS’ as guidance when making decisions. I would like to take that analogy and employ it for this article.

As we know, a ‘GPS’ (global positioning system), or any navigational system uses ‘waypoints’. A waypoint is a point of reference in physical space and essential to navigation. In my experience, it is essential for us to have ‘waypoints’ should we ever have to encounter and navigate the health care system.
It is a given that our health care system is complex, and when entering it, it can be overwhelming if you don’t have the knowledge necessary to make your way through what can be confusing, at the least and life threatening, at the worst.
In order to be successful with the use of your ‘waypoints’, you cannot be passive, expecting that the health care system is patient centered. It is not. Most medical providers would agree that the system is designed, “for efficiency” to revolve around the providers of care. And that doesn’t consider the impact the third party payers have on the system!
Accepting that it is essential to be assertive if and when you or a loved one enters the health care system, the following waypoints may be invaluable:

Waypoint #1: Have a competent primary care physician, and establish and maintain a relationship. Reputation and word of mouth will assist you in making your choice should you not have a primary physician. That physician may be your advocate, and conduit to the medical care you may need. It also helps to befriend a member of the staff. When a report or other information is needed in a hurry, knowing someone can often expedite the process.
Waypoint #2: Acquire and systematize your medical records. Considering that a universal electronic record keeping system is in the future, you have to be the “gatekeeper” of your medical information, including lab reports, radiology tests, surgical procedures, etc. That includes records generated by specialists you may have seen. And what about medications and supplements you are taking? Each physician you consult should know about these.
Waypoint #3: Ask questions! If you are not sure you were heard or understood, re-state your concern. It is better to err on the side of caution than to have a misunderstanding result in a mistake, or worse. Communication in our society is challenging anyway. Compound that with the anxiety you feel and sense of the health care provider “being in a hurry” and communication becomes ineffective. Make sure you are heard and understood!
Waypoint #4: Research the internet and other sources for information regarding your medical challenge, but don’t rely totally on what you learn. So often diagnoses are missed because someone thought their symptoms “belonged” to another disease or injury. In this age of information, sometime too much is worse than too little. Remember, even physicians and other health care providers seek the advice of the experts when they need it!
Waypoint #5: Arrange today, or as soon as scheduling allows, for someone to be your advocate should you ever encounter a serious illness or injury. This person can be a trusted friend, family member, or nurse case manager. It is beneficial to you if they know how to be assertive. They will be the asker of the questions, the helper in problem solving, and the communicator to you as to what is occurring. When you are dealing with symptoms, and not at your best, your advocate is your stand-in.

I trust this information has been helpful, and that you will follow the waypoints, if you don’t already have a system in place for dealing with those unexpected illnesses and injuries.
Love and Blessings for Robust Health!

What Is Time To The Woman Business and Spiritual Leader?

admin — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:46:15 +0000

While contemplating what I would write about this week, I was reminded about how often I seem to ‘run out of time’. As any true
blooded entrepreneur and a woman in service, I often ‘bite off more than I can chew’ which I have heard my mother remind me of since I was a child.

Like many women, I have numerous obligations, fill multiple roles, and have projects with deadlines… all of which require the use of time… which I never seem to have enough of.

Many spiritual traditions do not believe in “time” as we know it; linear and able to be calculated, and that is a subject for a whole other article (or book!). Rather than waxing philosophical, I will inject a lighter note:

I love this story to which I believe we all might be able to relate (at least at some point in our lives).

A woodcutter, who is constantly exhausted by his frantic chopping all through the day, is afraid to stop knowing he has many obligations to fulfill. A friend comes by one day to talk with him about his exhausting work and to ask the woodcutter if he could inspect his ax.

After running his fingers up and down the blade, he advises his friend to take a few minutes to sharpen his ax; “your work will be easier and go more quickly.” To which the woodcutter replied, “I can’t… I just don’t have the time…”

How many of us have been where the woodcutter is? I have to admit that this is often a familiar scenario for me. The mind-set of the woodcutter is such that he cannot see the forest for the tree (pardon the pun). I can get so dug in to what I am doing and to what still remains to be accomplished within given time frames that I often fail to see that I have a “dull ax”… even when people point it out to me!

In order to ‘sharpen the ax’ what can I do to have more time to accomplish what I have committed to?

1. When awakening, while in that state before full consciousness, I can begin with connecting to my Deity and surrendering my day and all of its activities to Divine guidance

2. Although challenging for me who has “done so much on my own” (or so I think), I can exercise my trust muscle. Surrendering to Divine guidance requires trust.

3. Sometime before I start my work, I can engage in a spiritual practice; studying in the faith of my choosing, reading inspirational material, journaling, engaging in yoga, (or others), meditation, contemplation, prayer…

4. Throughout the day (especially when I feel stressed and under pressure), I can take a few minutes to leave my desk (or the place of my work) and intentionally return to a state of peace. Five to ten minutes outside in nature, relaxing with a favorite cup of brew, or playing my favorite music (how ‘bout a little dancing?)

5. And let me not forget the importance of preparing for sleep… A review of the day’s accomplishments, and not what I didn’t do or that still remains to be done, in a state of gratitude for those accomplishments will develop my trust muscle. After all, this is a process!

I am sure you can think of ways that you personally might ‘sharpen your ax’.

Love and Blessings,

Ruth

Play and Its Importance to The Woman Spiritual Leader

admin — Thu, 27 May 2010 01:45:08 +0000

With the kick-off to the Memorial Day Weekend a few days away, I am prompted to write about the importance of remembering all of the Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Friends who, for whatever reason, died in service to the USA and its freedoms. And to their families and friends who endured the loss and grief. Bless them all!

However, while I am in deference to the reason for the holiday, I will suggest Memorial Day is the “official start” of the summer season. Of kicking back, of somnolent days, of frolicking in the surf or a favorite swimming hole, lake, back-yard pool, lawn sprinkler or fire hydrant (do cities turn those on anymore?), a game of stick ball, or whatever the latest neighborhood game is.
Of long lines of traffic snaking to resorts with the kids or pets in joyous anticipation; their enthusiasm spilling over into the car, and the driver, if they’re like me, usually frustrated with ‘how long it’s going to take us to get there’.

The summer season, for most people, evokes memories of childhood play. The freedom that accompanied the end of the school year was what many of us anticipated as we counted down to the last day of school. That was our time to let loose and PLAY!

Now that I am a seasoned adult, it takes effort (even the word speaks of work) for me to play. Playing just isn’t as ‘natural’ as it was before I ‘grew up’ and assumed the responsibilities of the adult world.

What’s with this picture? If we are creative beings in the “likeness of our Creator”, isn’t joyous freedom our inheritance? If that be the case, why is play difficult for many of us women who are bent on achieving the goals we have established for ourselves?

I don’t have to remind you of the ton of responsibilities, real and imagined, you deal with in your life. However, “the more I do, the more it seems there is to do” often keeps us in the mindset of “I have to keep up the pace”. And before we know it, another year has flashed by (including the summer), and we have forgotten how to play.

I had an opportunity to play recently on a sailing adventure with seven friends in the British Virgin Islands. Each day was filled with swimming, snorkeling, sailing, dropping anchor or picking up a mooring on a different island. Although this was relaxing, and most would consider this ‘big time’ play, it was not until the last afternoon that I captured the essence of what play means to me.

The sailboat carried a small inflatable rubber dingy, as most do. It is used to navigate to and from the shore for dinner, reprovisioning, etc. and for tying up to great snorkeling sites.

Two of my friends said, “Let’s go snorkeling over by the rock” which required us to get in the dingy and tie up to the moorings there. Due to my 5 foot 10 ½ inch, amply endowed body, I was reluctant to go in the dingy due to the fear that I would not be able to climb back in with its very high freeboard once I was in the water. I agreed to go, but to stay in the dingy… after all it was our last time to frolic.

And frolic I did. Of course, when we motored over to the site, I could not stay out of the water, enticed by what I would experience under the surface. I didn’t have a care as to how I would get back in… my friends could always tow me back to the sailboat, if necessary!

After memorable experiences being with and among a large variety of tropical fish, one of my friends, who happens to be the swim coach of the Masters Team I swim with, decided she would climb in the dingy. We had a make-shift ladder which we hung over the side. As she placed her foot on one of the rungs, the ladder went under the boat, she fell backwards into the water, and we ‘lost it’.

Gales of laughter ensued, and we could not get control of ourselves to get her in the dingy. My ‘M.O.’ was to help her in so that I could get in as well. Somehow with my holding the ladder in place for her (I, in the water), she was able to get half-way in. Again, uncontrollable laughter and abandon seized us. At that point I didn’t care whether or not I got in the dingy… I was having such easy, unplanned, unbounded FUN!

With a gentle push from me, she landed in the dingy. Now it was my turn. I was able to negotiate my right foot somehow to the top rung of the ladder, and flung myself across the width of the dingy; howling with laughter with every clumsy move. Our laughter can still be heard in my memory.

I give you this story because I think it speaks to the essence of play… unplanned, spontaneous, and being in the moment. Yes, I know that it helped that I was in an environment and away from my responsibilities that was conducive to having this wonderful experience, and I believe that we can create these moments in our daily lives.

I propose that we each make this Memorial Day week-end the start of a season filled with more moments of play. Our culture certainly gives us ‘permission’ via the summer season to do that.

Love and Blessings,

Ruth

Ruth Reiner is an ordained minister in the Interfaith tradition, Spiritual Counselor, Certified Coach, Nurse, and successful entrepreneur. She has two adult daughters with families/four grandchildren.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.

More Self Care For The Woman Leader

admin — Thu, 13 May 2010 12:13:57 +0000

I am frustratingly late getting this article written this week due to a knock-down, drag-out fight with my body’s needs… Guess who won?

My recent sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands, though beautiful and thoroughly enjoyable, was fraught with emotional and physical challenges. When I arrived home, my physicality went into dive mode, but true to form, my ego went into overdrive. You know what it’s like to come home from being away for eleven days; a million emails, tons of voice mail messages, clients needing attention… yesterday. And what about the empty refrigerator and the full laundry hamper?! Not the least, family and friends who want to hear about the trip and get “caught up”.

Well, it took about one week of meeting the demands that I and others had put on me; then somebody pulled the plug. I couldn’t even talk this week due to a “cold” that crash landed into laryngitis and rasping bronchi. And have I been sleeping? You bet!

So what does all of this have to do with this week’s article? I posted a note on ‘Facebook’ this morning that one of my favorite expressions is, “We teach what we need to learn”, and I obviously need to learn much more about self care, ergo the subject of this article.

The subject is a timely one in that we are interviewing Jennifer Louden who is the “Comfort Queen”. In preparation for the interview, I navigated her web site and read some of her material posted there. Did it hit home!!

Jennifer states in a recent blog; “Women at my retreats who have these amazing lives, filled with family and love and good work and creativity, but they are too often chewing away at what they haven’t done, looking at what isn’t satisfied… What breaks my heart the most is that life is spilling away while we look elsewhere”.

And in the quest for excellence, for fulfilling our purpose (whatever we think that is), or starting/growing a business, a spiritual practice, for writing the book, for serving more clients, and for romancing the dream; we often forget about the here and now, what we have accomplished, and to take care of ourselves. Just what does that mean?

Well, we know it can mean different things to different women. To me it means:

•   Resting when I am tired, and sleeping at least seven hours a night
•   Eating food that I know is healthy for me, hydrating, and being aware of how much alcohol I consume
•   Swimming with the team at practice, working out, and fast walking for exercise
•   Making time early in the morning and during the day for my spiritual practice
•   Managing my time, delegating when I can, and saying “no” when I already have too much on the agenda
•   Spending quality time with my families and friends
•   Precious time for reading

One thing I have forgotten somewhere on the journey to adulthood is how to play. Anyone out there who remembers how to do that? I sure could use some help!
You may have noticed, it is missing from my “self care” list…

If you were to care for yourself… just for yourself (never mind all of the others who depend on you) what would that look like? I know you are immersed in all of the important items that need your attention, but would you take just 20 minutes to get quiet, be alone, and let your imagination run wild with what you need to do to nurture yourself?

I would be interested to hear about some of your self nurturing “cannot do withouts”.
Please respond on our blog or Facebook, and let’s see if we can get some dialogue going around our “favorites for self care”.

Love and Blessings!

Rev. Ruth

Please Call Me by My True Names

admin — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 00:01:45 +0000

Greetings, dear friends, from somewhere in the Caribbean Sea; in and among the British Virgin Islands. I am sailing on a large catamaran with seven of my good friends enjoying the brisk wind, the crystal clear water (which I am in as often as possible), the remote beaches, the camaraderie, and when we drop anchor, being with the people who have lived and loved in this part of the world.
Being in this environment serves as a ready reminder of the Oneness of All That Is, and I remember the poem by Thich Nhat Hanh:

Please Call Me by My True Names

Do not say that I’ll depart tomorrow
because even today I still arrive.

Look deeply; I arrive in every second
to be a bud on a spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with wings still fragile,
learning to sing in my new nest,
o be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
in order to fear and to hope,
the rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that are alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the
surface of the river,
and I am the bird which, when spring comes,
arrives in time to eat the mayfly.

I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond,
and I am the grass-snake who, approaching
in silence, feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks,
and I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a
small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the Politburo, with pleny
of power in my hands,
and I am the man who has to pay his “debt
of blood” to my people,
dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

My joy is like spring so warm it makes
flowers bloom in all walks of life.
My pain is like a river of tears, so full it fills
all four oceans.

Please call me by my true names, so I can hear
all my cries and laughs at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names, so I can wake
up and so the door of my heart can be left
open, the door of compassion.

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

To Lead… Thoughts for the Woman Spiritual Leader

admin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:17:37 +0000

How often do I use the word “lead” or “leadership” without really thinking about its meaning? It’s a valid question considering that the organization which I represent, “The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders” deals with leadership on many levels.
When I initially thought about the subject for this article, it was the word leadership upon which I would focus. Well, I didn’t get much help from ‘Merriam’, ‘Random’, or ‘Google’ relative to the ‘true meaning’ of the word. I was ‘led’ to the phrase, ‘to lead’ which has a plethora of meanings:

To show the way to by going in advance
To guide or direct in a course
To serve as a route for; to take
To be a channel or conduit for
To guide the behavior or opinion of: induce
To direct the performance or activities of
To inspire the conduct of
To play a principal or guiding role in
To go or be at the head of; to be ahead of
To be foremost in or among; to be first
To act as a commander, director, or guide (leader)

We all know women who spring to mind immediately, as we scan the above list. I thought of Joan of Arc, Theresa of Avila, Mary, the mother of Jesus, Rabi’a, Eleanor Roosevelt, Aung San Suu Kyi, Indira Ghandi, Golda Meir, and women I have known and worked with, to name a few. I am curious to know who came to mind for you as you read the above meanings.

Native American Artwork by Susan Seddon Boulet "The Shaman"

Seth Godin, in his book, Tribe, describes Meghan McDonald, whom he calls the world’s best coach… “ hardly awe-inspiring. Mostly, she just talks quietly, one on one, to someone who needs to hear from her. Over the course of a few hours, Meghan will have dozens of conversations like that. She occasionally talks to the entire team, but she never raises her voice. No one cries, no one is belittled, no one is bullied.

After a few weeks, amazing things start to happen. The members of the team start coaching each other. A ten-year-old novice offers a pointer to a veteran recently back from the national competition. Meghan leaves the building, and practice continues.

Sports analogies rarely work for me. They’re too unrealistic, too testosterone filled for the real world. Meghan, however, isn’t just a coach. She’s someone who understands authentic leadership, and she realizes what it means to create a tribe.

She doesn’t lead the way other people lead. And that’s fine, because there isn’t a right technique, a proven tactic, a right way and a wrong way. Deciding to lead, not manage is the critical choice. Meghan connects and inspires. She doesn’t manage.” (italics, mine).

I so agree with Seth’s last few sentences. There are many ways to lead; many methods, techniques, and tactics are employed by good leaders. The common threads, in my opinion, that are evident in them all are humility, the ability to inspire, an authentic connection with their followers (or “tribe”, as Seth calls them), generosity, willingness to serve, and a thorn in their side re: the status quo.

His Holiness, The Dali Lama, during sessions at the Vancouver Peace Summit in 2009 was quoted as saying, “The world will be saved by the Western women”. He was also quoted during the same conference:

“Some people may call me a feminist… but we need more effort to promote basic human values–human compassion, human affection. And in that respect females have more sensitivity to others’ pain and suffering.”

In my opinion, the time has come for women to assume the role of leader with all of the attributes described. The world, our countries, our communities, our institutions, our families, and, yes, our “tribes” are counting on us!

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

This article was written by Rev. Ruth Reiner, an ordained Interfaith minister, spiritual counselor, certified life and relationship coach, registered professional nurse, and successful entrepreneur.

Women Spiritual Leaders and the Meaning of Easter… Teach Only Love…

admin — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:08:20 +0000

In the Christian tradition, this week is known as ‘Holy Week’ where on what is now called ‘Palm Sunday’, Jesus entered the city of Jerusalem on the back of a donkey with many of the people flanking the streets, placing palm branches on the path before him. Events through the week culminated in the crucifixion and the resurrection, the latter now commonly celebrated as “Easter”.

While there are many sects within the Christian tradition with each having their own ‘take’ on the teachings of Jesus, I believe there is one teaching upon which all might agree. That is his entreaty; “Teach only love”.

What does that mean for us as women who are spiritual leaders?

• I think it means that when we are tired; “weak and heavy laden” that we turn to the Source of Love to “place our yoke” in order to feel that Love and experience peace within ourselves. To be comforted in the way that only that Love can comfort.

• I think it means that Love starts with us; that we cannot give it if we do not experience it ourselves. What do you do to cultivate Love? Do you have a daily practice where you can get quiet and access that part of you that knows Love? Are you able to foster a state of awareness of that Love during your waking hours as you go about the experience of living?

• I think it means that we use that awareness in order to know just how often we do not come from love, for to teach it, we have to be it. And when the awareness we cultivate shows us that we are not coming from love; we learn to be easy on ourselves. So often we are quick to judge and berate ourselves because after all, “we should know better”!

• I think it means also honoring the ‘simple’ acts of kindness, such as when we let the person who is trying to ‘cut us off’, get into the stream of traffic. When we check in on a neighbor we know is ill. When we respond to a request for help. When we pick up trash someone else has carelessly dropped. And a thousand other acts of kindness.

• I think it means being present with Love as we listen, really listen to those who are engaged with us in communication. Our lives move so quickly, and, as we know, there are many distractions. These facts often contribute to our not being fully there for the other when they require our respect and our presence.

• I think it means, not only giving Love to others, but also to ourselves. It is now almost trite to say that we cannot Love others if we do not Love ourselves, and that is filled with truth. We speak often in our articles about ‘self care’ which is one of the ways we honor Loving ourselves. How long has it been since you have taken the time to care for yourself in the ways that help you be a conduit for Love?

Jesus taught and lived the meaning of Love throughout his ministry. To me, the ultimate act of Love was his victory over death. Now are we free to Love as he Loved and to renew ourselves in that Love as we celebrate with all of our Christian friends, the meaning of Easter!

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

Ruth Reiner, Co-founder and President of The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders is an ordained Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Counselor, Certified Life Coach, and successful business woman.

A Crystal Clear Mission and Its Importance When Launching and Building a Spiritual Practice

admin — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:21:02 +0000

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article entitled, “5 Actions for the Woman Spiritual Leader to Ensure Financial Success”. I will explore action #1 in this article:

Be Crystal Clear About What Your Mission Is.

Just what does this mean to those of us starting out on the spiritual path, those of us in the throes of starting a practice, and those of us who are in jobs or places in life where we know “there is something more”?

As women, we have assumed many roles in our lifetimes, and likely will have more in the future. I propose that because we have been good at doing a myriad of “things” and fulfilling those roles to the best of our abilities, our thinking around what it is that we want to do in the world can get muddied. It’s that “Jill of all trades, master of none” concept that I believe many women wrestle with.

We often have so many interests and have had experience and success in a number of fields that it is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to serve the needs of a broad mix of people.

As a result we can become “scattered” and “fuzzy” about what it is that we want to do… our mission. The end result often is that we fail at getting the message across to the people we want to serve.

Several weeks ago, Patricia Selmo wrote an article entitled, “6 Reasons Why You Should Know Your Life Purpose.“ Identifying your life purpose is a good place to start if you don’t know how that may impact your identifying what your mission in the world is.

(Some spiritual traditions believe that we have only one true purpose, and at the risk of lengthening this article, I will refrain from going deeper with this subject. That is for another article!)

If you are just starting out, in the planning stages of your service delivery, or are scratching your head as to how to get more clients or build your practice, it is advisable to seek help with drilling down to what your mission will be or is.

The internet is alive with information. Coaching programs abound. The Small Business Administration offers assistance, to name a few.

Your mission should not only be clear to you, but to the people you serve or will serve in the future. Your people will be the ones benefitting from your mission… all that it is that you deliver, and how it will transform them.

That sounds like a “tall order”… ‘transform’ them… but isn’t that what happens whenever we engage in an exchange of some kind? It could be as simple as that latte that you make or stop for in the morning that seems to help you wake up, or that you take pleasure in… ‘transformation’; or as complex as the changes that take place in the life of your client and those around him or her as a result of your work together… ‘transformation’.

Transformation, ideally, is at the core of your mission. How is it that what you do, or want to do, will transform the lives of the people you serve, or want to serve?

My suggestion would be to take some time apart with a notebook, and envision what some of the transformations of the clients you serve, or hope to serve, may look like. You may be amazed at how this exercise will assist you in getting clarity around your mission!
Love and Blessings,

Ruth

Ruth Reiner is an ordained minister in the interfaith tradition, certified spiritual counselor and certified life coach; registered nurse. She is a successful entrepreneur, and has helped others launch their visions. Her expertise is borne of the transformations that have occurred in the lives of the people she has served.

5 Tips About Money for Women Who Want to be Spiritual Leaders And Run Successful Ministries and Practices

admin — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:11:31 +0000

Two weeks ago, I posted the article; “5 Actions for the Woman Spiritual Leader to Ensure Financial Success”. In the introduction, I addressed some of the issues women who are doing “spiritual work” seem to have around money. Here are some excerpts from that article:

“How many times have you stopped short of telling a client what you thought your services were worth? How often have you given your services away because it was considered to be the ‘spiritual’ thing to do? We who deal with services that are considered to be spiritual in nature, it seems to me, have mind-sets to deal with; those of the people we serve, and … our own! When we begin to deal with our own ideas, misconceptions, and beliefs around what our services are worth, we will then be able to better deal with those of the people we serve.”

Being women, we usually think about and handle money differently than men do. Men seem to have an easier time asking for what they think they’re worth. This likely is driven by a man’s need to provide and to ‘accumulate’. Women, on the other hand, have a need for security, their family, their home, and their community. Historically, women also have not been the ‘breadwinners’.

How much we have seen this change in the last few decades! While women are still not compensated at the rate that men in the same positions are, in many instances they have become the ‘breadwinner’; the main, or often, only source of income.

We women who are spiritual leaders doing “spiritual work”, it seems to me, have a double whammy to deal with. I think we would agree that as women our mindsets around money are different from the mindsets from men. And secondly, we have to deal with the mindsets we have brought to our work.

While much of this mindset has been borne of our culture’s view that anything of a ‘spiritual nature’ should not have monetary value (never the twain shall meet!! – Heaven forbid!) as women we have not been encouraged to change our own individual values around the services we provide.

In order to begin to build an awareness around any issues you may have around money and the services you provide, I invite you to take a notebook and respond to the following:

1. Identify your own mindset around money and what money means to you

View your “monetary history”. Take a look at your check register, credit card statements, investment records, and spending habits. It would also be helpful to look at records of your reimbursements from individual clients, work-shops, and other sources of income. What does this data have to do with your mind-set around money?

2. Write down some phrases, edicts, shoulds, etc. that you may remember from your childhood around the subject of money

We all have grown up with probably hundreds of those that now form the hodge-podge of the way we view money and how we value what we do. And so much of it is unconscious. And what is “unconscious” will begin to surface once you have set your intent around making it so, and commit to being aware. You may be surprised by what emerges…

3. Try to recall situations where you have been involved in conversations around money, and your emotional reactions to what was being discussed

This is also a good exercise to do in the present. Other people’s remarks, an article that you may read, or something you may view or listen to in the media, may trigger emotions in you that you may not have been aware of. It is helpful to have a small note book in your purse or small recorder to document your reactions.

4. Identify areas in your life where you would like to have more confidence

Building confidence in yourself and what you do is one of the key ingredients to becoming more financially successful. Write those down, and don’t be bashful… no-one is looking over your shoulder, and, after all, this is your life!

5. Seek support

It is not easy to roll back years of brain washing, acculturation, habit, and mindsets by yourself. Women, by nature, love relating. Find that group, person, program, or community that will best serve your needs.

To your financial success!

Ruth

Ruth Reiner, President and Co-Founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders is an ordained Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Counselor, Certified Life Coach, and successful business woman.