As women spiritual leaders we have many responsibilities and many hats that we wear. If we are not careful, we may not do any of these roles well. How can you make sure that you get done what must get done and still stay sane?

Well, first of all, it’s extremely important to know your values and your mission or purpose.
The first thing you should be sure to get clear on is your Mission statement – this is what will drive your actions in your spiritual business. Mission statements often contain the following:

•    Purpose of your ministry or business
•    Who you serve – your customers, target market, etc.
•    What you offer them – your products and services and the transformation they bring to the people you serve

The next thing you need to get clear on is your values. These are the things that are the most important to you in life. They could be things like Beauty, Family, Accomplishment, etc. These are what will drive your actions in your personal life. Hopefully, the mission and values are congruent and don’t contradict one another. If they do, then one is not authentically representing who you are.

Next, whenever an action item, invitation, request or decision comes your way, you will now analyze it against your Mission and your values. If it doesn’t fit in with these, that is, if it isn’t a definite “YES”!! in your mind and congruent with your values and your purpose, then it needs to be a “NO!”. And you should do just that – “Say, no!”

Also, go through any commitments you currently have and clear out the ones that don’t match your Mission or Values. This will leave room for the things that are truly important for you and what you are here to do to actually get done. And, now they will not only get done, but they will get done well, because you have room for them.

At the end of each day, jot down your accomplishments. Make special note where you might have been led astray and taken on things that are not in alignment with your mission or values. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Just note that these are things you will need to let go of.

Make this a daily habit, and I guarantee that within one month you will be much clearer and focused on the things that are important to you and your life’s work.

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

“How many times have you stopped short of telling a client what you thought your services were worth?  How often have you given your services away because it was considered to be the ‘spiritual’ thing to do?  We who deal with services that are considered to be spiritual in nature, it seems to me, have mind-sets to deal with; those of the people we serve, and … our own!  When we begin to deal with our own ideas, misconceptions, and beliefs around what our services are worth, we will then be able to better deal with those of the people we serve.”

Being women, we usually think about and handle money differently than men do.  Men seem to have an easier time asking for what they think they’re worth.  This likely is driven by a man’s need to provide and to ‘accumulate’.  Women, on the other hand, have a need for security, their family, their home, and their community.  Historically, women also have not been the ‘breadwinners’.

How much we have seen this change in the last few decades!  While women are still not compensated at the rate that men in the same positions are, in many instances they have become the ‘breadwinner’; the main, or often, only source of income.

We women who are spiritual leaders doing “spiritual work”, it seems to me, have a double whammy to deal with.  I think we would agree that as women our mindsets around money are different from the mindsets from men.  And secondly, we have to deal with the mindsets we have brought to our work.

While much of this mindset has been borne of our culture’s view that anything of a ‘spiritual nature’ should not have monetary value (never the twain shall meet!! – Heaven forbid!) as women we have not been encouraged to change our own individual values around the services we provide.

In order to begin to build an awareness around any issues you may have around money and the services you provide, I invite you to take a notebook and respond to the following:

1.    Identify your own mindset around money and what money means to you

View your “monetary history”.  Take a look at your check register, credit card statements, investment records, and spending habits.  It would also be helpful to look at records of your reimbursements from individual clients, work-shops, and other sources of income.  What does this data have to do with your mind-set around money?

2.    Write down some phrases, edicts, shoulds, etc. that you may remember from your childhood around the subject of money

We all have grown up with probably hundreds of those that now form the hodge-podge of the way we view money and how we value what we do.  And so much of it is unconscious.  And what is “unconscious” will begin to surface once you have set your intent around making it so, and commit to being aware.  You may be surprised by what emerges…

3.     Try to recall situations where you have been involved in conversations around money, and your emotional reactions to what was being discussed

This is also a good exercise to do in the present.  Other people’s remarks, an article that you may read, or something you may view or listen to in the media, may trigger emotions in you that you may not have been aware of.  It is helpful to have a small note book in your purse or small recorder to document your reactions.

4.    Identify areas in your life where you would like to have more confidence

Building confidence in yourself and what you do is one of the key ingredients to becoming more financially successful.  Write those down, and don’t be bashful… no-one is looking over your shoulder, and, after all, this is your life!

5.    Seek support

It is not easy to roll back years of brain washing, acculturation, habit, and mindsets by yourself.  Women, by nature, love relating.  Find that group, person, program, or community that will best serve your needs.

To your financial success!

Ruth

Ruth Reiner, President and Co-Founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders is an ordained Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Counselor, Certified Life Coach, and successful business woman.

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1. Inner Peace – when you know your purpose, a sense of calm surrounds you. You don’t have to worry about what you should focus on

2. Clear Direction – When you know your purpose decision-making becomes easy – if something comes your way that is not in alignment with your purpose, you can easily turn it down; if it does align, say YES!!

3. Financial Success – by having a clear purpose that you are passionate about (because if it’s your Divine Purpose, you WILL be passionate about it), you can easily make money doing it. Why? Because you have the passion that can carry you through the rough times. Someone who is doing something they aren’t passionate about, will give up much more easily.

4. Marketing sense – when you need to market yourself to the world, it becomes very clear to you who you are marketing to and what exactly you are providing. You no longer have to be everything to everyone. There are some people who just aren’t meant to be your customers and that’s OK!!!

5. Happiness – When you are doing what you were put here to do, you are HAPPY!!! Yes, times might get hard and people can treat you unkindly, but you will be happy because you are doing what you were designed to do – it just flows!

6. Eliminate living from Fear – When you live a purpose-driven life, you are no longer living your life from a position of fear – for example, doing things because you “should” or because of what others will think of you or because of some dire consequence you believe will happen if you don’t. You will be living in a proactive manner guided by the direction of your purpose; not reactively out of fear. This is an incredibly powerful way to live.

Once you know your purpose and why you are here, you can set about making changes in your life to adjust to this new knowledge. Slowly you will eliminate things that don’t align with your purpose and draw things to you that do. You will clearly be able to determine if opportunities are right for you or not and you will have a sense of joy and fulfillment that can only come from living purposefully. And, you will easily be able to make money because you will be able to clearly define what you do and whom you do it for – an essential for good marketing. You will be able to do all these things and be happy! What more could anyone ask for – so what are you waiting for? Find that purpose and start living it – the world needs you and whatever it is you were uniquely designed to do!

Patricia

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
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It’s in the quiet that we hear the answers. It’s in the moment of silence that we feel the knowing.

Are you able to sit down, quiet your mind and listen to your truth?

Today I turned off the stereo, ignored the phone. I sat down to find the stillness. A project needing to be finished, grabbed my attention. Another excuse not to silence my mind. Yet, the lack of outside noise did allow me to focus, to concentrate, to make serious progress toward the completion of a task at hand.

But, the truth is, I need to find time to listen to the quiet. I know I do. What about you?

Apparently, the Universe will find a way to get you to listen, even when you say you will, but don’t. In my life it always shows up the same way. I usually have to end up in the hospital, attached to tubes, plugs, machines…none of which are connected to my computer or my iPhone. I have no choice but to stay still. I even have to ask for a nurse or someone to help me go to the bathroom. Wow! Can you believe I’d manifest all of this to make room for quiet in my life?

This past week, I found a lump under my arm. It was 3:50 in the morning on February 3rd. I looked at the clock, and said out loud, “Are you kidding me?” My life shifted in an instant. In the stillness of the early morning, I stood, alone, in my kitchen and knew why this was happening. It was time for me to slow down and reflect.
What is most important to me? What is my soul’s purpose? What really matters? What am I doing with my life?

I’ve been hearing whispers for months, but keep choosing to ignore them. I tell myself, “I’ll start painting and writing as soon as I finish this next project, the next event, the next, the next, the next.” But, I haven’t.

My heart has been telling me to focus on my writing, my art, enjoy my time with my husband and kids, but I refuse to listen. I’m afraid to give up everything I’ve been creating and the business I’ve been building. I don’t want to look like I’m quitting. I find work harder, push more, in hopes that the more time I put in, the faster I’ll reach the finish line. And, then, I will have time for my writing, my art, my family.

I’m not trusting myself and my inner knowing of what is right for me. I’m letting other people’s whispers influence me, when I know, with all my heart and soul, their way is right for them, but not my authentic way. I honor their space, but must trust my intuition and my journey.

I love talking makeup, hair, and style. It’s what I’ve done for 25 years. But I know, none of it matters in the long run. It’s not just about the makeup, it never has been. It’s always been about so much more. Of course, there is a time and place for lip gloss, hairspray and shoes. But, they are not what make a beautiful life.

I’ve been gone too long….headed in the wrong direction. Or, maybe, the right direction, wrong road. It’s time for me to get back to what’s real. It’s time for me to get back to the core, to my authenticity. The woman who cries when she’s scared, the woman who knows she’s meant to paint and write, the woman who adores her children and is watching them grow up too quickly. The woman, who dearly loves and appreciates having a wonderful friend for more than 24 years and has been blessed to be able to call him “my husband” for 20 of those years.

I realized that I needed to listen to what I know I am meant to do. I see the potential in others, with or without makeup. I inspire others to follow their dreams, in high heels or sneakers. There is so much talk today about authenticity, personal branding, and personal style. I’ve created an entire business which helps women see their real beauty, so that they can reach their dreams. But, in the midst of creating what I knew I could, a business about image and style, I set my dreams on the bookcase next to my desk.

Dozens of books on writing, art, creativity, inspiration, beauty and style stacked just inches away from me everyday. Thirty plus, years of journals, filled with writings, musings, sketches, quotes, images I want to paint. It seems like it would be easier to do what you’re comfortable doing. Just stick to what you know and all will be okay. Not so! In fact, it’s harder, and more difficult not follow your heart.

The Universe wants to get my attention. Tomorrow, I will head to the hospital at 5:30 in the morning. I know that no matter what happens, I will do what I must. I will do only what matters. I will listen to my heart. I am done pushing. I AM WRITING. And, I’m letting go of the outcome. I’m letting go of whether it will be good, or whether it will matter, or whether it will make me money.

Clarity. Reality. Authenticity.

This is my new direction. We can create whatever we want or need in this lifetime. It’s up to us to make up our mind to listen and follow the whispers of intuition guiding us forth.

Living a beautiful life means taking care of yourself. Being true to what you believe. Living a beautiful life means trusting yourself and listening to your body. Living a beautiful life means following your heart.

Have you been setting a part of you on a shelf? What are you rescheduling, setting aside, deferring, or putting on the back burner?

I will do whatever I need to do to bring congruency into my life. I know I will march forth into the fear of the unknown, the uncertain, and embrace every moment, every smile, every whisper, every tear, every hug. And every little bit of laughter.

I hope you’ll do the same.

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I will address some of the actions you might take right now to make your practice, service, ministry or whatever you do more profitable. For without financial success, you will have to subsidize your mission with income from other sources.

The following will be useful in the future for you as well.

1. First and foremost is to be crystal clear about what your mission is.

So often we encounter women who want to serve the needs of a broad mix of people; becoming scattered, “fuzzy” about what it is that they do, and fail at getting the message across to the people they want to serve.

2. Identify what it is the people you serve want.

Be objective about your service so that you are not only doing what you love, but what the market wants.

3. Invest in your enterprise.

Your practice, service or ministry needs nurturing. Identify and pay for the services it needs, such as legal, financial, business coaching, and bookkeeping and administrative support.

4. Invest in yourself.

You are your most important commodity. Self-care is a priority. Identify those activities and services that nurture you and replenish your energies. Take courses and seek the advice of mentors who will help you avoid the road blocks, and teach you how to negotiate them when you do encounter them.

5. Take Action!

Be bold and ask for guidance in the way of your intuition, Source, God, Allah, your Guides, and take the first step. Then set sail and leave the harbor. As one of our business mentors declares; “it is easier to course correct than it is to initiate action”.

Many blessings as you travel your road to a successful enterprise or ministry, and a life of assisting the people you serve in transforming their lives!

Ruth

Ruth Reiner is an ordained Interfaith Minister, spiritual counselor, coach, and business mentor.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.

Please share!

Patricia

What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.

Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.

These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.

This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?

Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

1. Focus on the positive. There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.

2. Find something that you both agree on. You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.

3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict. Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.

4. Active Listening – This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.

5. Express Needs. Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.

6. Reach Understanding. Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.

In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

I am learning more about trust from a book I recommend by Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira, Take Me to Truth. Although it is based on the teachings of A Course in Miracles, its treatment of trust has universal applications.

What is necessary for the development of trust is a journey toward ego release. As many of us have experienced, our egos have a need to control and to know. When we then open to the place of not knowing, which is where the state of trust places us, it throws us into conflict. And… if we have ‘let go’ and we are in mid-air, so to speak, there’s no turning back, even though our egos try to tell us differently.

We know from experience, that the unknown is the most frightening of places! Who would even choose to go there? Who would let go of the comfort of the known for the unknown?

Those of us who are willing to see differently. Those of us who are willing to follow our calling or our purpose. Those of us who are committed to personal growth and self actualization, and those of us who have embarked upon the path toward ego release and the discovery of the Self, the Soul; our true Being; the Knower. That part of us that longs for us to be who we truly are.

As Nouk and Tomas explain, “Our Unified Self… trusts implicitly that all changes are necessarily beneficial, no matter how uncomfortable they may be initially. It knows it is infinitely safe, secure, worthy; hence it has no need for our familiar obsession with the compulsion to control and the need to be loved and protected by outside sources…

It realizes that acknowledging not-knowing provides the space from which Truth reveals itself.”

Therein, it seems to me, lies the solution to the problem of what to do when we encounter the doubt and uncertainty that arises when we are in that “space between”. That space where we are trying to engage our trust and to have the patience to “hang in there” even though the next trapeze or open door seems like it will never be there to rescue us from falling or from looking endlessly at closed doors.

Trust and not knowing are synonymous. Are you willing to be in that state? The place between where you are as a result of ‘letting go’ what was worn out, no longer serving you, keeping you from breaking free, and from knowing who you are and what it is you have to offer and the next open door?

The religions of the world speak to trust and the importance of engaging it and relying on a Source other than who we believe we are.

• Trust calls for us to admit that we do not perceive our own best interests

• Trust asks us to give up what we think we know

• Trust encourages us, even demands that we depend, not on our egos, but on God, Allah, our Guides, our higher Selves; that part of us that Knows

• Trust carries us through the space of not knowing; where Truth reveals itself

• Trust nurtures and strengthens that place in our Minds and Hearts that Knows

This is an experiential rather than an intellectual exercise, and essential to successful navigation of the spiritual path. It also need not be experienced alone.

A trusted friend, partner, or spiritual counselor are important human supports as we go through these experiences of exercising our “trust muscles”.

May you know the freedom and the joy that results from being willing to be in the state of Trust!

This article was written by Ruth Reiner, ordained Interfaith minister, spiritual counselor, certified life coach, and successful business woman. Ruth is the co-founder of www.IAWSL.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.

I immediately went to the link, and memories of wonderful times spent with family and friends when I was growing up, came flooding in. So what does this all have to do with “letting go”, Patricia’s topic for this week?

Perhaps you can join me in recalling those ‘rides’ that seemed like an enormous challenge when you were a kid. I had two of those in Palisades Amusement Park that scared the devil out of me, and yet I was somehow attracted to them. The first was a very tall (it seemed like it then) circular swing whose chairs almost went horizontal when it reached its top speed. This ride was located right at the edge of the cliff, so that when it was at its full arc, it felt as if I were out over the cliff!!

The second ride was the roller coaster, of course constructed of wood and painted white with its peaks and valleys and undulations; the largest in the world at the time.

I approached each ride in a state of fear; thinking it would be easier to stay on the safe terra firma. We all have been there… we want to rise to the challenge, yet the taught throat and the weak knees seem to get the best of us. Then somehow, we get the courage to get on the ride.

With white knuckles, clenched teeth, cramped muscles from holding on tight, the ride slowly starts. Then, at some point, something within me “lets go”. The motion of the swing circling around, even if it felt like it was out over the cliff, is calming to my fear.

The “click, click” of the gears as the cars of the roller coaster make their ascent to the first and highest hill accentuate my state of being frozen with fear. As we approach the apex and slip over the top, I “let go”, screaming with delight as we speed toward the next dip.

We all have had many experiences of letting go. The terra firma always feels safer, but if we remain there, we don’t experience the joy that comes with “letting go”…

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

Like many spiritual teachers of today, her work is about being aware and living in the moment. The difference is that Byron Katie not only tells us to DO these things, she gives very clear instructions on HOW to do it. Notice I didn’t say “easy”. Her method is definitely not easy, it is however, very simple and straightforward. And “Katie” doesn’t mince words when talking to people directly.

The instructions are simple: Question your thoughts. Ask the following four questions about them:
1. Is this true?

2. Can you know for sure that this is true?

3. Who are you, how do you feel when you think this thought?

4. Who would you be without this thought?

I challenge you to give this process a try the next time you find yourself in a situation in which you are reacting emotionally to something someone has said or done. The minute your goes to “He should …” or “She shouldn’t…”, apply the questions, and then let me know what you think!

Patricia