International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders » letting go

4 Easy Tips for Dealing with Change and Transitions in Your Life and Business

admin — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:48:26 +0000

It is said that nothing ever dies – it simply changes. Maybe that’s true – but then what? Change???? Most people struggle deeply with the idea of change. Companies have entire departments devoted to “managing change” so that employees can deal with it effectively.

Resistance to change comes from a fear of the unknown or an expectation of loss. The first aspect of a person’s resistance to change is how they perceive the change. The second aspect is how well they are equipped to deal with the change they expect.

How much a person resists change is determined by whether they perceive the change as good or bad, and their expectations of how severe they expect the impact of the change to be on them. In order to ultimately accept change, we need to have adequate resilience and excellent coping skills.

However, not only is change inevitable, but it is required if you are to be successful in business and in life. How can you ensure that when change is required, you handle it skillfully and with grace? Here are four tips for dealing with change when (not “if”) it comes into your life:

Ensure that you have a quality support system
It is so important during times of transition that you have a good support system around you. This could be family and friends, or a business mastermind group. Depending on the type of transition you are going through, different types of groups might prove to be more effective than others. It is imperative that you have some sort of mentor.

Look for the silver lining in the situation
Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say. Even if it appears that the world is falling down around your ears. Take some time and look at the situation. See what can be found that is positive. For example, even if you lose a job, perhaps that job wasn’t the best fit for you and now you are free to pursue a long-lost dream or some other opportunity that will make you much happier.

Continue your spiritual practice
This is not the time to quit praying, meditating, journaling or doing whatever it is that centers you and brings you peace and serenity. If you don’t already have a daily spiritual practice, then please start something before you find that you need it! It could be something as simple as taking five minutes each morning before you get out of bed to quiet your mind, breathe deeply and review your plan for the day; or write whatever comes to mind in your journal for 10 or 15 minutes each morning or evening. Just five to ten minutes each day will provide you enough peace of mind to get through any of these obstacles, with at least some amount of grace.

Create a structure to support you
When all else is failing or seemingly In chaos around you, it is important to have a structure to cling to. This can mean having a simple daily routine that you keep to each day. For example, getting up, meditating, having breakfast, etc. at the same time each morning. In the evening, spend a few minutes relaxing before eating dinner and settling in for bed. Whatever your routine is, stick to it! This will provide an important framework and touchstone amidst the change and confusion that may be going on externally.

As you can see, while change may be inevitable, it doesn’t have to be traumatic. Keep your life as simple and structured as possible, with downtime and spiritual connection included and you will find that “This too shall pass” – you will soon be acclimated to the change that has occurred and it will be smooth sailing from here on out!

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Purpose. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

Risk-Taking: The Courage to be Authentic

admin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 15:03:58 +0000

What could be riskier than diving out of an airplane or climbing a glacier-covered peak or accelerating a race car into a curve at the Indy 500?

For one person it might be quitting a secure, well-paying job to go back to school. For another, it could be deciding to leave a marriage after 18 years or reporting that the company they work for is endangering the environment or people’s lives.

For me it was quitting a well-paying job to work for myself at something I loved and had a passion for. It certainly wasn’t easy – but, there came a point when I knew I had to take that leap of faith to else continue down the path of drudgery I was feeling.

Though it may not appear so at first glance, psychological risks that summon us to put our personal values and beliefs on the line may ultimately feel more dangerous than those of physical derring-do. Yet these are the challenges that we are asked to face time and again if we are to continue to grow as individuals. Each time we take a risk that contributes to our personal growth or enhances our self-esteem or enriches our lives, we make the choice to stretch ourselves, knowing there are no guarantees and chancing possible failure.

I knew that even if I failed, I would have felt better for trying – I would have continually regretted not at least going after my dream. That alone made it all worth it!

Growth-producing risks generally fall into three categories.

Self-Improvement Risks
These are the risks you take when you want to get ahead, learn something new or make a distant dream a reality. You take on the venture with hopes of enriching your life. Maybe you want to change careers, or take singing lessons, or learn to speak French. On one side of the risk is the person you are and, on the other, the person you want to become.

Commitment Risks
All commitment risks have emotional stakes whether you pledge yourself to a person or a relationship or to a cause, a career, or a value. According to Joseph Ilardo, author of Risk-Taking for Personal Growth, if you avoid making emotional commitments, you all but guarantee that your emotional growth will be stunted.

Self-Disclosure Risks
Communication risks fall into the category of self-disclosure. Anytime you tell someone how you really feel you’re taking the chance of self-disclosure. When you open up to others and reveal who you really are, how you feel and what you want and need, you make yourself vulnerable. It is impossible to be assertive without doing so.

All risks carry with them the possibility of failure. Often significant sacrifices must be made before any real benefits are realized. Routines may have to change; the familiar may have to be released. You may be rejected or humiliated. In the case of commitment to a value, personal safety may be in danger. Consider those who stand up for what they believe in or put their own health and well-being on the line in the name of a cause. Challenging yourself is often the key to personal growth and development.

Are you a risk-taker? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Does every decision involve endless debates with yourself?

• Do you accept less than what you should because you’re afraid to speak up?

• Do you have difficulty making emotional commitments to others?

• Do you make up excuses that stop you from taking advantage of opportunities for self-improvement?

• Does fear of disapproval keep you from doing what you’d really like to do?

A “yes” answer to these questions indicates a reluctance to take risks, which may mean you tend to play it safe and reject change.

Consider this: to fulfill your potential, to discover your real self and live an authentic life, you must take risks. And while security may appear to be the absence of change, the only genuine security lies in taking risks.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

10 Things To Do When Your Life Falls Apart

admin — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:40:47 +0000

June 25, 2010 11 AM Eastern/10 AM Central/9 AM Mountain/8 AM Pacific

In her first book in several years, Daphne Rose Kingma takes us on a path of emotional and spiritual healing with particular attention to the complex and frequently overwhelming circumstances of our lives right now. Whether you’re struggling with money issues, job loss, relationship problems, an unexpected health crisis or all of the above, this book will light your path and heal your heart. Along with giving sound practical advice, THE TEN THINGS will help you see your crisis in a larger context, one in which no matter what you are going through you’ll be able to find a sense of renewal and peace.
Everybody has hard times and this is the book that will carry you through them.

“Anyone going through a dark night of the soul needs to have this book. It will be your closest companion and your most tender angel. Daphne Rose Kingma more than speaks to your soul; she knows how to heal it.” –Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

Join us as we discuss The 10 Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart with Daphne on:

Friday, June 25, 2010 11 AM Eastern/10 AM Central/9 AM Mountain/8 AM Pacific

The recording will be available for 48 hours afterward OR you can Join IAWSL for $50 off and receive access to ALL of our teleseminar recordings.

Known primarily for books on relationships (Coming Apart), Kingma’s latest is a lifeline for those in the isolating depths of personal tragedy. Its purpose is to hold, to heal, and to listen, and it comes from a very real place: a friend of the author’s in the midst of physical and financial hardships asked for a list of 10 practices to survive his crisis. With chapters dedicated to the necessity of tears, the freedom of letting go, and the fulfillment found in simple living, these techniques are all about practicality.

Register Now

Loss…A Transformative Power in Business and in Life

admin — Wed, 19 May 2010 23:03:02 +0000

Loss is inevitable. We have no choice in this life about whether or not we are going to go through the process of loss – we will. What we do have a choice about is how we move through this inevitable process. And, notice, it is a PROCESS. Sometimes we sail along smoothly, going through periods of time when things are going fine, and then BAM!! Something happens – we lose a job, we move, our spouse leaves us, any number of things can happen and then we are thrown into a pattern of pain, grief, shock and anger.

Sometimes these losses are like a rock slide – first one falls and before you know it, it seems as though you’re getting hit over the head with a new one every few days! In the span of about three months, I have lost:

My house
My family
My friends
My romantic companion
My spiritual community
My job

When loss happens, we can feel so raw, and open and vulnerable – like a little newborn animal – skinless, blind and dependent on something larger than us for sustenance.

Most of these things haven’t really been “lost” in the true sense of the word. They have, however, changed and transformed and in the process are transforming me. Some of them are even things I wanted to “lose” (like the job!) So, what exactly is the meaning of the word “Loss” in this context? It doesn’t necessarily have to mean that we no longer have these things in any way, shape or form. It does mean that our connection with these things has changed in some way. It seems that there is maybe a very fine line between loss and transformation. Because when loss happens, we are transformed just as our relationship with the thing list is transformed.

For example, my family is still there for me – they are just a couple thousand miles away now. But we can still communicate via phone and email.

I carry my spiritual communities with me in my heart – the teachings and the spirit of them.

My Beloved is still my dear friend and we can communicate in other ways. The relationship has changed, but he is not “lost” to me.

What about in the case of the death of a loved one? They are there in whispered memories that come to us at any number of moments throughout our days. I am not suggesting that these changes are the equivalent to what we once had. No, they are but shadow of the former vividness we had.

This is where the transformation comes in. As we go through the stages of grief, we are transported and changed. We are strengthened and prepared. It is important to go through these stages and you may find yourself going through several in one day or one hour! You may find yourselves revisiting a prior one. Here they are as defined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Eventually, you will find yourself more and more in Acceptance. One of my favorite phrases is “This too shall pass.” – and it will. I know that, but sometimes when we are in the middle of it, it feels like it will never end and things will never be good again. One thing I know is that they will be good again – they may not be the SAME again, but they will be good, if not great!

So what are some things we can do to ease through this transitional time?

1. First and foremost is self-care! You are very vulnerable at this time and this fact needs to be honored. Make sure you are getting enough sleep every night; try to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and protein; get outside and get some natural light; exercise –even if it’s light stretching or yoga;

2. Honor your emotions – It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to scream and be angry; it’s OK to feel some apathy towards day-to-day activities.

3. Clear out the unnecessary – this includes not only material things, but also the activities that take up so much of our time – really reflect on what is necessary and what can be put off or totally eliminated. After clearing out my living space because of a suspected insect infestation (which turned out not to exist), I felt so much clearer, and empowered! It’s amazing what clearing out can accomplish!

4. Ritualize the transition – I find creating ritual around these markers of change in our life can really help honor the transformative power they are providing. Light a candle, say a prayer, write out what you want to remember or take-away from the thing that was lost, bless it and burn the paper. It could be something as simple as that!

5. Get help – especially if you are stuck in one of the stages or even if you are not, it can be very safe and supportive to get professional help through this time.

The dawn always comes – sometimes the night seems long and dark, and we can’t see what is next, but the dawn does come and things look so much better in the light of day!

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

How Women Spiritual Leaders Can Eliminate Overwhelm and Accomplish Your Purpose

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:13:25 +0000

Do you have way too much email in your inbox? Are the bills piling up on the kitchen counter? Do you need to take your kids to soccer practice and piano lessons? Do you need to cook dinner, clean the house and mow the lawn? Oh, and yes, while of these things need to happen, do you also still need to do your work, your ministry in this world?

As women spiritual leaders we have many responsibilities and many hats that we wear. If we are not careful, we may not do any of these roles well. How can you make sure that you get done what must get done and still stay sane?

Well, first of all, it’s extremely important to know your values and your mission or purpose.
The first thing you should be sure to get clear on is your Mission statement – this is what will drive your actions in your spiritual business. Mission statements often contain the following:

•   Purpose of your ministry or business
•   Who you serve – your customers, target market, etc.
•   What you offer them – your products and services and the transformation they bring to the people you serve

The next thing you need to get clear on is your values. These are the things that are the most important to you in life. They could be things like Beauty, Family, Accomplishment, etc. These are what will drive your actions in your personal life. Hopefully, the mission and values are congruent and don’t contradict one another. If they do, then one is not authentically representing who you are.

Next, whenever an action item, invitation, request or decision comes your way, you will now analyze it against your Mission and your values. If it doesn’t fit in with these, that is, if it isn’t a definite “YES”!! in your mind and congruent with your values and your purpose, then it needs to be a “NO!”. And you should do just that – “Say, no!”

Also, go through any commitments you currently have and clear out the ones that don’t match your Mission or Values. This will leave room for the things that are truly important for you and what you are here to do to actually get done. And, now they will not only get done, but they will get done well, because you have room for them.

At the end of each day, jot down your accomplishments. Make special note where you might have been led astray and taken on things that are not in alignment with your mission or values. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Just note that these are things you will need to let go of.

Make this a daily habit, and I guarantee that within one month you will be much clearer and focused on the things that are important to you and your life’s work.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

Quiet Your Mind

admin — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:05:22 +0000

This is a beautiful article from a wonderful friend about the importance of nurturing yourself…

It’s in the quiet that we hear the answers. It’s in the moment of silence that we feel the knowing.

Are you able to sit down, quiet your mind and listen to your truth?

Today I turned off the stereo, ignored the phone. I sat down to find the stillness. A project needing to be finished, grabbed my attention. Another excuse not to silence my mind. Yet, the lack of outside noise did allow me to focus, to concentrate, to make serious progress toward the completion of a task at hand.

But, the truth is, I need to find time to listen to the quiet. I know I do. What about you?

Apparently, the Universe will find a way to get you to listen, even when you say you will, but don’t. In my life it always shows up the same way. I usually have to end up in the hospital, attached to tubes, plugs, machines…none of which are connected to my computer or my iPhone. I have no choice but to stay still. I even have to ask for a nurse or someone to help me go to the bathroom. Wow! Can you believe I’d manifest all of this to make room for quiet in my life?

This past week, I found a lump under my arm. It was 3:50 in the morning on February 3rd. I looked at the clock, and said out loud, “Are you kidding me?” My life shifted in an instant. In the stillness of the early morning, I stood, alone, in my kitchen and knew why this was happening. It was time for me to slow down and reflect.
What is most important to me? What is my soul’s purpose? What really matters? What am I doing with my life?

I’ve been hearing whispers for months, but keep choosing to ignore them. I tell myself, “I’ll start painting and writing as soon as I finish this next project, the next event, the next, the next, the next.” But, I haven’t.

My heart has been telling me to focus on my writing, my art, enjoy my time with my husband and kids, but I refuse to listen. I’m afraid to give up everything I’ve been creating and the business I’ve been building. I don’t want to look like I’m quitting. I find work harder, push more, in hopes that the more time I put in, the faster I’ll reach the finish line. And, then, I will have time for my writing, my art, my family.

I’m not trusting myself and my inner knowing of what is right for me. I’m letting other people’s whispers influence me, when I know, with all my heart and soul, their way is right for them, but not my authentic way. I honor their space, but must trust my intuition and my journey.

I love talking makeup, hair, and style. It’s what I’ve done for 25 years. But I know, none of it matters in the long run. It’s not just about the makeup, it never has been. It’s always been about so much more. Of course, there is a time and place for lip gloss, hairspray and shoes. But, they are not what make a beautiful life.

I’ve been gone too long….headed in the wrong direction. Or, maybe, the right direction, wrong road. It’s time for me to get back to what’s real. It’s time for me to get back to the core, to my authenticity. The woman who cries when she’s scared, the woman who knows she’s meant to paint and write, the woman who adores her children and is watching them grow up too quickly. The woman, who dearly loves and appreciates having a wonderful friend for more than 24 years and has been blessed to be able to call him “my husband” for 20 of those years.

I realized that I needed to listen to what I know I am meant to do. I see the potential in others, with or without makeup. I inspire others to follow their dreams, in high heels or sneakers. There is so much talk today about authenticity, personal branding, and personal style. I’ve created an entire business which helps women see their real beauty, so that they can reach their dreams. But, in the midst of creating what I knew I could, a business about image and style, I set my dreams on the bookcase next to my desk.

Dozens of books on writing, art, creativity, inspiration, beauty and style stacked just inches away from me everyday. Thirty plus, years of journals, filled with writings, musings, sketches, quotes, images I want to paint. It seems like it would be easier to do what you’re comfortable doing. Just stick to what you know and all will be okay. Not so! In fact, it’s harder, and more difficult not follow your heart.

The Universe wants to get my attention. Tomorrow, I will head to the hospital at 5:30 in the morning. I know that no matter what happens, I will do what I must. I will do only what matters. I will listen to my heart. I am done pushing. I AM WRITING. And, I’m letting go of the outcome. I’m letting go of whether it will be good, or whether it will matter, or whether it will make me money.

Clarity. Reality. Authenticity.

This is my new direction. We can create whatever we want or need in this lifetime. It’s up to us to make up our mind to listen and follow the whispers of intuition guiding us forth.

Living a beautiful life means taking care of yourself. Being true to what you believe. Living a beautiful life means trusting yourself and listening to your body. Living a beautiful life means following your heart.

Have you been setting a part of you on a shelf? What are you rescheduling, setting aside, deferring, or putting on the back burner?

I will do whatever I need to do to bring congruency into my life. I know I will march forth into the fear of the unknown, the uncertain, and embrace every moment, every smile, every whisper, every tear, every hug. And every little bit of laughter.

I hope you’ll do the same.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR ON YOUR WEBSITE? Please do and be sure to include
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Hollywood Makeup Artist, Writer, and Style Consultant, Tamara Gold publishes publishes
the “Red Lipstick Report” e-zine. Style for Real Women. Real Life. Real Beauty.
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to keep you feeling and looking your best…in all areas of your life and your business.
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The Art of Letting Go – The Next Step

admin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:15:07 +0000

As Patricia advised us last week in her article; “The Art of Letting Go…” When the five steps have been followed, and the trapeze released, Patricia refers to the trust that is necessary that the next trapeze will be there. How do we engage that trust? How do we endure when the next trapeze or open door is not in sight?

I am learning more about trust from a book I recommend by Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira, Take Me to Truth. Although it is based on the teachings of A Course in Miracles, its treatment of trust has universal applications.

What is necessary for the development of trust is a journey toward ego release. As many of us have experienced, our egos have a need to control and to know. When we then open to the place of not knowing, which is where the state of trust places us, it throws us into conflict. And… if we have ‘let go’ and we are in mid-air, so to speak, there’s no turning back, even though our egos try to tell us differently.

We know from experience, that the unknown is the most frightening of places! Who would even choose to go there? Who would let go of the comfort of the known for the unknown?

Those of us who are willing to see differently. Those of us who are willing to follow our calling or our purpose. Those of us who are committed to personal growth and self actualization, and those of us who have embarked upon the path toward ego release and the discovery of the Self, the Soul; our true Being; the Knower. That part of us that longs for us to be who we truly are.

As Nouk and Tomas explain, “Our Unified Self… trusts implicitly that all changes are necessarily beneficial, no matter how uncomfortable they may be initially. It knows it is infinitely safe, secure, worthy; hence it has no need for our familiar obsession with the compulsion to control and the need to be loved and protected by outside sources…

It realizes that acknowledging not-knowing provides the space from which Truth reveals itself.”

Therein, it seems to me, lies the solution to the problem of what to do when we encounter the doubt and uncertainty that arises when we are in that “space between”. That space where we are trying to engage our trust and to have the patience to “hang in there” even though the next trapeze or open door seems like it will never be there to rescue us from falling or from looking endlessly at closed doors.

Trust and not knowing are synonymous. Are you willing to be in that state? The place between where you are as a result of ‘letting go’ what was worn out, no longer serving you, keeping you from breaking free, and from knowing who you are and what it is you have to offer and the next open door?

The religions of the world speak to trust and the importance of engaging it and relying on a Source other than who we believe we are.

• Trust calls for us to admit that we do not perceive our own best interests

• Trust asks us to give up what we think we know

• Trust encourages us, even demands that we depend, not on our egos, but on God, Allah, our Guides, our higher Selves; that part of us that Knows

• Trust carries us through the space of not knowing; where Truth reveals itself

• Trust nurtures and strengthens that place in our Minds and Hearts that Knows

This is an experiential rather than an intellectual exercise, and essential to successful navigation of the spiritual path. It also need not be experienced alone.

A trusted friend, partner, or spiritual counselor are important human supports as we go through these experiences of exercising our “trust muscles”.

May you know the freedom and the joy that results from being willing to be in the state of Trust!

This article was written by Ruth Reiner, ordained Interfaith minister, spiritual counselor, certified life coach, and successful business woman. Ruth is the co-founder of www.IAWSL.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUNDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.

Riding the Roller Coaster of Life

admin — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 02:43:43 +0000

When Patricia told me the topic of her article this week (click here to read), I couldn’t believe the synchronicity! I had just received an email from our reunion coordinator of my graduating class from the Leonia, NJ High School. What is relevant about that is that she included a link to www.PalisadesPark.com which was the amusement park, at least in the eastern U.S, for many years, shutting its doors in 1979. It was located on the “palisades”, the cliffs of NJ overlooking the Hudson River to New York City.

I immediately went to the link, and memories of wonderful times spent with family and friends when I was growing up, came flooding in. So what does this all have to do with “letting go”, Patricia’s topic for this week?

Perhaps you can join me in recalling those ‘rides’ that seemed like an enormous challenge when you were a kid. I had two of those in Palisades Amusement Park that scared the devil out of me, and yet I was somehow attracted to them. The first was a very tall (it seemed like it then) circular swing whose chairs almost went horizontal when it reached its top speed. This ride was located right at the edge of the cliff, so that when it was at its full arc, it felt as if I were out over the cliff!!

The second ride was the roller coaster, of course constructed of wood and painted white with its peaks and valleys and undulations; the largest in the world at the time.

I approached each ride in a state of fear; thinking it would be easier to stay on the safe terra firma. We all have been there… we want to rise to the challenge, yet the taught throat and the weak knees seem to get the best of us. Then somehow, we get the courage to get on the ride.

With white knuckles, clenched teeth, cramped muscles from holding on tight, the ride slowly starts. Then, at some point, something within me “lets go”. The motion of the swing circling around, even if it felt like it was out over the cliff, is calming to my fear.

The “click, click” of the gears as the cars of the roller coaster make their ascent to the first and highest hill accentuate my state of being frozen with fear. As we approach the apex and slip over the top, I “let go”, screaming with delight as we speed toward the next dip.

We all have had many experiences of letting go. The terra firma always feels safer, but if we remain there, we don’t experience the joy that comes with “letting go”…

Love and Blessings!

Ruth

The Art of Letting Go – 5 Simple Steps to Letting Go and Living Life

admin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 03:37:13 +0000

In any spiritual path one follows, inevitably, the idea of letting go rears its head. Why is it so important? Why is it so difficult? As women spiritual leaders we can face this conundrum in a myriad of ways. Not only on our own path, but also when dealing with others – for example when we are ministering to our people, we must approach them free of expectations and requirements; in many forms of meditation, we are asked to let our thoughts go as they appear; in counseling sessions, we must let go of preconceived projections and outcomes.

What are some of the things we need to let go of? Well, the list is infinite, but here’s some food for thought: shame, guilt, fear, anger, bad relationships, expectations, grief, resistance, dependency…

And through all of this letting go, the mind is clinging with fierce determination to what it knows. “The devil you know is better (safer) than the devil you don’t!” we exclaim. The dangerous unknown lurks in front of us like an abysmal hole. The purpose of the mind or Ego is to keep us safe – that part of ourselves will do whatever it takes to accomplish its mission of keeping us safe from harm – and what could be more unsafe than the unknown or change? However, a full cup cannot be filled with something new – it must be emptied first. Let go!

If we can allow ourselves to open up with grace (or without, as the case may be) and trust to the unknown and something different, what we find is a whole new world of options and possibilities. The Divine has more in store for us than we can imagine for ourselves, but our job is to have faith and let go!

The question is how? How can we let go when our “monkey mind” is clinging tight to its vine? There are 5 simple steps to easing into faith and “letting go and letting God”:

1. Label that part of yourself that is afraid. Give it a name and make it as real in your mind as possible. This gives you something to focus on.

2. Let it express its fear through journaling or meditation.

3. Speak to it gently as you would a frightened child. Don’t dismiss it – it will only cry louder!

4. Get silent and still so that you can hear the still, small voice within – this is what will tell you your next step, if any.

5. Breathe! It is so important during these times of change to remember to breathe.

By giving voice to your fears, you allow that voice to know it’s being listened to. Only then can it begin to be comforted. Then the monkey can finally let go of that vine – that’s the only way you’ll be able to catch the next vine – much like a trapeze artist, in order to catch one trapeze the artist must let go of the one they are holding and trust that the one they need will be where it needs to be when they let go.

Remember that when a window is closed, a door is opened. Go ahead, close that window! Let go and live life!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

Epiphany for Women Spiritual Leaders – 6 Ways to Invite an Epiphany to Help You With a Break Through

admin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:54:07 +0000

For many of us Women Spiritual Leaders, we are familiar with the word “epiphany” in its colloquial meaning… “a sudden understanding, or insight, especially into the meaning of something”. As we honor the celebration of the “Epiphany” of the Christian tradition which this year occurs on January 6th, we would invite you to discover, or reaffirm, ways in which we might invite epiphanies in order to help with our ministries, our practices, and our day to day living.

I suggest that they are not unusual, and for spiritual women, may be quite common.

January 6th marks the celebration of “Epiphany” which to Christians of the Eastern and Western churches commemorates the arrival of the Magi and, for some, the baptism of Jesus. Both acknowledge the ‘Epiphany’ as the “manifestation of Christ to the world”.

‘Epiphany’ is also intertwined with the twelve days of Christmas, the twelfth also known as “three kings day” in honor of the Magi who, biblical and historical scholars think, may have traveled many months and over many miles to visit Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, who by then, had left the manger and had created their home. Once there, they honored the baby Jesus with gold, frankincense, and myrrh each having its own mystical meaning.

How many times have you experienced an ‘epiphany’ after struggling with a problem or a challenge that had you tied in knots?

Do you remember when the ‘epiphany’ occurred?

What was it that the ‘epiphany’ provided?

If you implemented the solution that the ‘epiphany’ presented, what were the results?

I ask these questions because I believe all of us as women spiritual leaders have had ‘epiphanies’ that could help us answer these questions.

How, then, can we invite those experiences of insights, revelations, and sudden realizations into our everyday lives?

1. Spend time in reading, study, prayer, meditation, and contemplation which provide the discipline to counteract the distractions which cause the ‘static’ we all experience which interrupts the clear signal which is often searching for our ‘receiver’

2. Commit to the practice of being in the state of ‘awareness’…

3. Be cognizant of our thoughts and resultant emotions by allowing and exercising the ‘observer’; that part of us who is constant, unchanging, and not rocked by our thoughts, feelings, and actions…

4. Practice letting the past and the future go… the present which is all we have, will provide the answers we are searching for…

5. When preparing for sleep, offer your problem, challenge, or issue… being willing to let go of it and trust that your answer will come… It may not appear in a dream, though often it does, or upon awakening the next morning; continue to trust that you will have the answers…

6. Expect the ‘epiphany’ and when it is experienced by you, offer thanks, and provide the environment and the steps, with guidance, to put it into action…

As we enter this new decade, may we, as women spiritual leaders and those of us who are awakening to our spiritual natures, experience the clarity and the potential for making a difference in our lives that an epiphany provides!

Reverend Ruth Reiner is an ordained Interfaith Minister, spiritual counselor and coach.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, PUBLICATION, OR ON YOUR WEB-SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leaving the entire article intact, do not alter it in any way, and include the following: “THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN SPIRITUAL LEADERS” was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download – as a gift to you- THE 5 SECRETS TO CREATING ABUDANCE THROUGH YOUR CALLING.
You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of tips and information for supporting you in your mission or quest.

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