It is said that nothing ever dies – it simply changes.  Maybe that’s true – but then what? Change???? Most people struggle deeply with the idea of change.  Companies have entire departments devoted to “managing change” so that employees can deal with it effectively. 

Resistance to change comes from a fear of the unknown or an expectation of loss. The first aspect of a person’s resistance to change is how they perceive the change. The second aspect is how well they are equipped to deal with the change they expect.

How much a person resists change is determined by whether they perceive the change as good or bad, and their expectations of how severe they expect the impact of the change to be on them. In order to ultimately accept change, we need to have adequate resilience and excellent coping skills.

However, not only is change inevitable, but it is required if you are to be successful in business and in life.  How can you ensure that when change is required, you handle it skillfully and with grace? Here are four tips for dealing with change when (not “if”) it comes into your life:

Ensure that you have a quality support system
It is so important during times of transition that you have a good support system around you. This could be family and friends, or a business mastermind group. Depending on the type of transition you are going through, different types of groups might prove to be more effective than others. It is imperative that you have some sort of mentor.

Look for the silver lining in the situation
Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say. Even if it appears that the world is falling down around your ears. Take some time and look at the situation. See what can be found that is positive. For example, even if you lose a job, perhaps that job wasn’t the best fit for you and now you are free to pursue a long-lost dream or some other opportunity that will make you much happier.

Continue your spiritual practice
This is not the time to quit praying, meditating, journaling or doing whatever it is that centers you and brings you peace and serenity. If you don’t already have a daily spiritual practice, then please start something before you find that you need it! It could be something as simple as taking five minutes each morning before you get out of bed to quiet your mind, breathe deeply and review your plan for the day; or write whatever comes to mind in your journal for 10 or 15 minutes each morning or evening. Just five to ten minutes each day will provide you enough peace of mind to get through any of these obstacles, with at least some amount of grace.

Create a structure to support you
When all else is failing or seemingly In chaos around you, it is important to have a structure to cling to. This can mean having a simple daily routine that you keep to each day. For example, getting up, meditating, having breakfast, etc. at the same time each morning. In the evening, spend a few minutes relaxing before eating dinner and settling in for bed. Whatever your routine is, stick to it! This will provide an important framework and touchstone amidst the change and confusion that may be going on externally.

As you can see, while change may be inevitable, it doesn’t have to be traumatic. Keep your life as simple and structured as possible, with downtime and spiritual connection included and you will find that “This too shall pass” – you will soon be acclimated to the change that has occurred and it will be smooth sailing from here on out!

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Purpose. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

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Join us as we interview Diane Musho Hamilton

July 9, 2010 3 PM Eastern/2 PM Central/1 PM Mountain/12 PM Pacific

Diane Musho Hamilton is a gifted facilitator, mediator, and spiritual teacher. She is a core founder of iEvolve: Global Practice Community and a co-director of Integral Life Spiritual Center. Diane is a fully ordained Zen priest and teacher. She has studied Buddhism since 1984, and was given dharma transmission by her Zen master, Genpo Roshi, in 2006. She is well known as an innovator in facilitating group dialogues, especially controversial conversations about culture, religion, race and gender relations.

For her, Zen practice is a fundamental commitment to experiencing reality as it is – beautiful, ungraspable and seamless, nothing other than your own life. It is also a practice in fearlessness, in compassion, and in seeing the wisdom in all situations and greeting them with a joyous mind.

Register Now

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Painting by Marica S. Lauck & Deborah Koff-Chapin

How often have you been in the middle of a dilemma – unable to decide which direction to go in, which step to take next? How to choose?  Every day we are confronted with decisions to make – some big, some small. How do you decide? You could make a list of pros and cons, you could ask your neighbor what you should do, or you can follow a Higher Power that has your best interests at heart.

There is a perfect GPS for guiding you through your life and you have access to it at all times. It goes by many names – intuition, gut feeling, higher self. It can also be “externally” directed such as – God, Allah, guardian angel, or spirit guide.

It really doesn’t matter which if these you relate to and choose to you, the methods and techniques for hearing it are the same. Below are several techniques for gaining access to this important tool in your business toolbox.

Technique #1: Get quiet
Sit quietly in meditation or just silently a few minutes each day. Just taking the time to do this, can open up the sensitivity needed to “hear” the guidance you are seeking.

Technique #2: Clear clutter
This can mean physical clutter, such as in your home or office space, but it can also mean mental clutter or time wasters. Get rid of any menial jobs or tasks that can be done by someone else, or perhaps don’t need to be done at all. Guidance needs space to work; and you need space to hear it.

Technique #3: Journal
Keep a daily journal of concerns and questions. Ask questions of your intuition in Q&A format and see what comes to you.

Technique #4: Play
Do something fun that you don’t normally do – plant a flower, go for a hike, play tag with your kids. Doing fun, playful things can disengage the mental chatter that goes on and again, create the space required for the messages to come through.

Once you have received some information, it is very important to validate it. You need to be sure it is coming from this all-knowing source and not from your own mind or ego with all of its wishes, wants, and desires. Here are a few guidelines to help you determine if this is a valid message:

1.    It is not fear-based – If you get a feeling of fear from the message, it most likely is NOT valid; if you feel peaceful about the message (even though it might provoke some anxiety), it most likely is valid.

2.    “I” versus “You” language – The message came across in the second person. For example, “You need to take the job offer.” versus “I want to take the job offer.”

3.    Declarative language – The message came in declarative, strong language – not in weak, unsure language. For example, “You need to take the job offer” versus “Maybe you should take the job.”

4.    Surprising – this was not the message you “expected” to hear. If you went into the process expecting to hear a particular message and that’s not the one you heard, it is a good indicator that this is a valid message.

Please note that some of these indicators may or may not be present. The more of them you have, the more likely the message is valid. However, the most important one is the first one – if this one is not present, the odds of the message being valid are pretty slim. God or intuition does not operate using fear-based principles. You will be guided through a feeling of peace – not through fear.

Remember to take advantage of this readily-accessible system for guiding your business and your life through anything that comes your way.

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

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Prayer has been a part of spiritual worship since the beginning of time. What is prayer? I like to think of it as a conversation with god. As with any conversation, it shouldn’t be one-sided. There are times that we are speaking and there are times that we are listening. Many times, we forget about the listening part. It can be difficult to determine when we are actually hearing the voice of the Divine as opposed to the some other voice such as our Ego.

This is a very basic model and probably not entirely inclusive, but I think there are four basic formats of prayer. These are as follows:

1.    Formal

These are the prayers that are part of every organized religion. The Salaat of Islam, the Our Father of Christianity, the formalized Shabat ritual of Judaism. These prayers are suffused with an eternal power and strength from long-use by countless generations. The repetition of them, both by the individual and the communities that perform them, creates a vibrational resonance that creates comfort and performs miracles.

2.    Conversational

These are the prayers in which we talk to God. Many times we are asking for something that we want – either for ourselves or for others. Sometimes these are known as intercessory (asking for something for others) or petitional (asking for something for ourselves). Many times they are prayers of Thanksgiving and gratitude for our many blessings. Sometimes they are prayers asking for guidance to do the right thing in a particular situation. They are just as the name conveys, conversations with the Divine, the source of ourselves and all that is.

3.    Centering

This is a style of prayer that is common in almost every religion and spiritual practice. Usually it is a meditative-type prayer in which a word is repeated over and over again either silently or aloud. In Sufism, this is called Remembrance and it is the name of God, “Allah” that is repeated or “La ilaha ilallah” – meaning there is no God but God. In the Christian form of Centering prayer, it can be any word of your choosing. The purpose of this type of prayer is to clear all of our mundane thoughts and keep focusing on God, Allah, the Divine. It is a very calming sort of prayer. Wayne Dyer mentions that the “AH” sound is the sound of the Creator, hence, all of the names for God in various religions or sacred sounds of various spiritual paths have this sound in them. For example, “ohm”, “Allah”, “God”,”Yahweh”, etc.

4.    Listening

This one is more complex but just as, if not more, important than the others. In the other forms of prayer we are communicating or focusing our intentions on something. However, at some point in the “conversation” we need to remember to step back and listen. This can be done in a myriad of ways including silent meditation, mindfulness practices, journaling, dreamwork. Many of us get those flashes from that still, small voice at the least likely moments, such as in the shower or driving to work!

All of these types of prayer serve different functions. I like to incorporate all of them in my daily spiritual practices. It is much like working out your body. You need to do exercises that are cardiovascular in nature to increase your endurance and heart strength, you need to do weight-bearing exercises to keep your muscles strong and you need to do stretching exercises to remain flexible. Some of these types come easier to some of us than others and yet, they are all important.

See if you can commit to a week of doing at least 5 minutes of each of Formal and Centering prayer; and intersperse Conversational and Listening forms throughout your day. You can set a timer a certain period of time to remind yourself to step back and have a conversation with your Divine source.

Of course, don’t be hard on yourself if you find even these few minutes a day difficult. Just remember the words of Meister Eckhart, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download-as our GIFT to you-the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling. Just click here: www.iawsl.com

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What is the Winter Solstice?

Technically this is the longest night of the year – in the Northern hemisphere, this is usually around December 21st – 22nd. The world around us is dark and cold. In modern times, ignoring the rhythms of the earth, we rise while it is still dark and continue our activities – taking the kids to school, going to work, running errands – until well past the setting of the sun. With all of our artificial light, we forget how dark our surroundings are at this time.

Can you imagine a time before electricity, before scientists had explained to us that this phenomenon is simply caused by the tilt of the earth as it rotates around the sun? And that this darkness is just the result of the earth being tilted to its maximum position of 23° 26′ away from the sun…it is likely people could easily become fearful. The trees and shrubs, would freeze and dry up, often they would be buried under a layer of snow or frost. There was no guarantee that the sun would come back. People would watch as each day the sun would rise to a lower and lower point in the sky. In northern elevations, they might not see it for weeks or months at a time!

Oh, but then! They would notice that this cycle would reverse itself…can you imagine the joy and hope that entered people’s hearts at that time! The sun was returning! The world would not remain a cold, dark wasteland forevermore. This was certainly reason for celebration! And even those seemingly dead gardens would eventually spring back to life…there had been life lying dormant there all along!

The word solstice derives from the Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still)…the moment when the sun stands still…culturally, this event has been seen through the years as the time when the ebbing of the sun stops and it begins to return. Concepts of the birth or rebirth of sun gods have been common in many cultures through the years:

• In Greek mythology, the gods and goddesses met on the winter and summer solstice, and Hades was permitted on Mount Olympus.
• The Hopi Indians, also known as “The Peaceful Ones,” hold a ritual on December 21, the shortest day of the year, to ceremonially bring the sun back from its long winter sleep.
• In many pagan and earth-based traditions, this holiday is celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God, who is viewed as the “newborn” sun.
• In modern cultures gatherings at this time of year are filled with evergreens, bright lights, large bonfires, feasts, spending time with loved ones, and dancing and singing.

As women spiritual leaders this can be an opportune time to STOP the busy-ness, STOP the “doing” and follow the rhythm of the earth. Much like the winter garden lies dormant, we too should take time to sit quietly and go within. This dark, cold, quiet time of year is perfect not only for hibernating bears, but also for our hibernating souls. We need the withdrawal and rest from the hub-bub of daily living to recharge and regenerate – to bring our own light and life back into the world.

Take time this week to have a daily check-in with yourself:

1. STOP – take 10-15 minutes and find a quiet place to sit – no radio, music, television, kids, phone, etc.
2. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Focus on your breathe and imagine it flowing through you as you breath in and out.
3. Imagine a small flame in the center of your chest. As you breathe in, the flame expands. As you breathe out, the flame flushes out anything negative in your thoughts or feelings.
4. Sit in silence for a few more minutes. Remind yourself that there is NOTHING for you to do right NOW.
5. When you feel complete, slowly open your eyes. Continue with your day remembering the calm darkness that envelopes you and the warmth of your light within that fuels you.

It is so important that we, as women take the time to recharge, hibernate or go within and stay in that calm darkness, knowing that our light is always there – we only need to allow its gentle flame to regenerate and recharge in the silence of our own winter. And when we honor that cycle of death and rebirth, we will be even more prepared to perform our ministry in the world – whatever it might be.

This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an Interfaith seminarian, certified life coach, energy healer and entrepreneur. She is the co-founder of the International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders: www.iawsl.com, and is a practicing life coach, spiritual guide and healer helping people to live the life of their dreams: www.theblissfulsoul.com.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: The International Association of Women Spiritual Leaders was founded to support spiritual women in living abundantly while serving their unique missions. We invite you to download—as our GIFT to you—the 5 Secrets to Creating Abundance Through Your Calling. You will also be registered to receive our weekly newsletter full of information and tips for supporting you in your calling.

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